Isolation vs Recovery

I had an epiphany recently. And that is that:
Isolation and Recovery are Inversely Proportional. 
The more I isolate the less I recover. And the less I isolate the more I recover.

I can't recover in isolation. Then why do I wish to isolate myself?

The answer is MY PRIDE!  I'm too proud to ask for help! I need to humble myself and ask God and trusted friends for help! Then real recovery can finally begin.


I have several friends who are in recovery. But I need only use one as an example. I’ll call him “K,” even though he wouldn’t mind if I used his actual name.

I remember the first day that K came to our ARP meeting. He seemed no different than anyone coming for the first time. A little scared, but determined to make changes in his life. After that he came every week. I remember when he relapsed and he openly admitted it to the group.

He also told us that he had shared with his parents and siblings about his addiction.

After a couple of months he came to the meeting and shared with us the he had felt prompted to tell his whole elder’s quorum that he was attending ARP meetings. The next week he brought a guy from his quorum with him to the meeting.

Several weeks went by and K told us that he had felt prompted again to open up in elder’s quorum and the following Tuesday one of the other elders called him on the phone and “wanted to talk.”

K has been very open about his addiction. I am certain that he has applied the principal of “PMS” whenever he’s been tempted and asked for help. He got a sponsor and progressed through all 12 steps.

During this period K met a beautiful young woman. They dated, got engaged and were married in the temple. But early on in their relationship K told her everything about himself, including his addiction. There were no secrets!

Finally K was asked to be a facilitator in ARP and he now alternates between four different ARP groups.

To top it all off, he recently spoke in front of several hundred people at an ARP fireside about his addiction and what he was doing to recover. And he was the most open, as anyone I have ever heard, talking about his experience.

Due to his lack of isolation his recovery has been swift and amazing.  I think he's been actually doing Step 12 long before he knew what Step 12 was.

UPDATE: K and his wife are happily married and have two beautiful children.


I have several friends, (I’ll call them A, B & C) who I care about deeply.

They really want to recover! But they seem to want to recover “in isolation.”

Here are some of the things I have observed about A, B & C:
  • They are reluctant to share their addiction with family members. At the most they have told only one other person in their family.
  • They are keeping their addiction a secret from close friends and roommates who could be a support.
  • They have access to cell numbers for others in the group, but they don’t call or text.
  • When tempted, they almost never reach out for help.
  • They are inconsistent in attending ARP meetings. 
  • They admit they are not progressing through the 12 steps, yet they wonder why they are not recovering.
It’s as if they haven’t taken to heart Steps 1, 2 & 3.
  1. Admit that they are powerless. 
  2. Believe that the atonement can be applied to them.
  3. Be willing to let Christ do the work.
A huge step for them would be to stop isolating and ask for help!


Isolation and Recovery are inversely proportional. The more I isolate the less I recover. The less I isolate the more I recover. I need to humble myself and ask God and trusted friends for help!

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