Step 6 and The Iceberg

I was stuck on Step 6 and we were discussing Step 6.  A friend stated that he had supposed that once he started overcoming his problem that everything else would remain the same. He said he found that not to be true.

While he was talking I saw a vivid mental picture in my mind. It was an iceberg.

The ice above the water represented an addiction. But there was a lot more ice under the water that was not visible. Then I noticed that as the ice above the water began to melt that the ice below the water now was becoming visible above the water. What did that mean for me?

A couple of days later if found out. Early in the morning I awoke and read my scriptures. Then as I have been doing, I knelt down to pray and all I could do was cry. I just couldn't stop crying. I didn't know why but I just felt emotionally drained.

I already had an appointment that afternoon with my therapist. I told him both how I was feeling and about the image of the iceberg. I also told him that under prior situations that I probably would have acted out--but this time I did not act out. 

He told me that the iceberg was a "great metaphor" as to what was happening to me. For a long time I have been avoiding certain feelings or situations. I avoided my feelings or these situations by medicating myself with either my addiction or my guilt. Either way I kept my feelings in check.

He explained now that I had not been acting out that the ice on top of my iceberg was melting and that the feelings that I had been avoiding were now coming to the surface. He said this is "great!" I responded, "But it doesn't feel great. I feel miserable."

He said you will now be feeling higher highs and lower lows, whereas in the past you were not able to feel those emotions.

I do trust what he told me, but even today I am still not doing all that well with these new emotions that I am feeling.  My feelings keep bubbling up to the surface.  But I think that is the real purpose of Step 6.

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